Lonely Christmas

I used to love to await for christmas day.

I still remember how i celebrate my christmas last year.

Celebrate with family, having nice BBQ, hanging around with buddies, exchanging christmas present.

I would always hear the peaceful and lovely christmas songs.

But this year, no mood....

Not only me, is my whole family...

Cause my dad just pass away...

I would always remember that he always said...
"Hey, its going to be christmas day, what is your plan?"
"Let's us have some gathering!"

He always know that my mom would be happy when all her sister, brothers come to visit her."

In a way, he loves her although they always fighting.

Next year!!
Wait for a year...
i will happily used up my christmas day!!

2010 Christmas Day, wait for me!!

And one thing,
Happy Christmas to all of you!!
Merry Christmas!!

现在

自从上班以来

scrub的次数已经越来越多了

scrub了很多次的lscs

可是

我一直感觉不到进步

要怎样才能把步骤牢牢记在心中？

叶柳君，好好加油吧

没心情

上班了

拖着懒懒的身躯

接受了同事的慰问

心里还是很苦涩

到最后还是很不能承受的哭了出来

好没心情做工

不能承受的痛

这一天阿爸出殡了...

看着那棺材缓缓的划进那炉里面，我哭得不能自己...

好痛...

吵架

跟大姐狠狠的吵了一架

到底是谁的问题

我怎么觉得到最后是我的错

算了

我也不想计较那么多

可是

我知道的一件事

我们心中都有一根刺了

很难像以前那么好了

或许

时间可以冲淡一切

慢慢来吧

回忆

晚上了...

改回吉隆坡准备明天上班了...

路途上，一路放着cd听着...

听到一首我很喜欢的歌...

如果我变成回忆-tank

可是现在我听到回好想哭...

爸，我好想念你！

离开我

就在这天，阿爸就这样远离我们而去...

甚至没问过我的意见....

好伤心....

很不想去面对现实....

Daddy, Rest in Peace

It is hard to start my words here...

I'm very heartache...

It is a very suddenly news!!

A really sad, upset and scary news...

Sometimes i still feel it is unreal...

In the Saturday morning, my mom gave me a call...

她高叔我说阿爸心脏病发，现在已送去医院了。

那时我还以为他已被救回，展示在医院而已。

我就立刻去叫醒大街与二姐，高叔他们说爸爸已晕倒。

当我们正在收拾行李时，我的大姐就收到一通电话。

到现在我们还不知到底是谁。

那时我的大姐在房间里，我依稀听到她在哭。

原来那个人告诉我的大姐说，爸爸已经去世了。

我立刻承受不住得放声大哭，我的二姐还懵懵嚓嚓地抓住我问。

我已没有心情解释给他听。

Update

Ohh..It has been a long long time that i didn't update my blog...
Always busy is an excuse to give...
But I can't deny that...
Not really as 'busy' as what ppl said...
I should use the word 'tired' to describe...
Tired until I can't think a word...
Just feel like wanna sleep as much as I can...

Now, I've been in OT for 3 months...
Did I learned anything??
What a different environment from other places...
I'd like to learn everything in the OT...
But i just don't like the environment there...
I mean for the PEOPLE environment ...
They are just irritating...
I don't mean EVERYONE...
Just some of them...
It seem like we do this is wrong, do that also will be wrong...

Until now, I'm just not only learn how to do work....
and....
The HUMANITY LIFE there...
Is it every society in any place will face this kind of problem??
I wish i could handle it fine...

PS : Just want to announce...the OT cap make my hair look like ghost...So I decided to grow it long...but...just see whether i can tahan or not...hehe...

难忘的一天

七早八早就从被被子里拉了出来，目的地就是佛堂！

一早早就要替那些‘神明’送上早餐。比我们的还丰富！

因为今天我们有派米活动，所以七点半不到，那些人们已经在排队了。

看到我有一点心惊惊，怕应付不来。

还好，我把联络了一帮年轻人过来帮手，不然我真的不知要怎么对付这些人。

噢，时间终于到了。一眼望出去，还真是很多人，好怕他们一次冲进来，那是我们就要变人肉肉干了。

一开始就帮忙写号码，那些人不断送上他们的‘纸’，拼命的要我写。

到最后只剩我姐姐一个写，因为很乱。结果我帮忙维持持续。

在一生内，说得最多广东话的一天就是今天啦。而且还一直重复同样的一句。

就是：“阿婆，唔好推啊”

好累啊，那些阿婆甚至比我还要大力。真是不能顶！

过后，终于派完啦。真是非常感谢那班年轻人，要不是他们的话，还真不会那么顺利。

到了中午，和尚们需要念经。不可避免的，我们也跟着拜。

初初，我们只需合掌，然后听那些和尚念经。终于一段时间过了，当我们以为要完了后，他却拿了一本佛书给我们。

什么？？！！竟然要我们跟着念？？

惨咯！要念完整本。。

“观自在菩萨，行深般若波罗蜜多时，照见五蕴皆空，渡一切苦厄。 舍利子，色不异空，空不异色，色即是空，空即是色。。。。。。”

“俺。。。”

“呵。。。打瞌睡中”

真的要睡下去了。

中间我的弟弟哥哥当然不忘了拿来作娱乐，真是笑到我们肚子痛。

两个小时结束啦，终于上完了一堂心经科。

过后就经行烧金纸仪式，把一切都烧完啦。

收拾好东西后，就回家啦。已经是7点多晚上啦。

CSSD 趣事

终于，两个星期已过了。

时间过得真快！回想两个星期前，我还没准备好我的思绪要准备上工。

那时还怕得要命，一直想着我要面对的是什么。

现在，两个星期过了。。。

我在CSSD过得很开心，Ms Teng还说我们在过着honeymoon,下个星期进OT就有排‘挨’。。

我想也是的，心里非常紧张。

整两个星期，学的东西也非常多，努力专心记那些instruments.

哇！！记到我半死。。。

除了学那些器材，我还知道原来那些disposable items也是来自CSSD。

哇！你看他们多么专心！！（上图）

我们也需要清理那些用过的器材，过后要包装。（下图）

他是在清理还是在摆姿势？？（上图）

我们还需要贴价钱。

你看我多么的尽责！

我们还工作中不忘娱乐。。。

现在是时候收拾好心情，踏进手术室了。。。

What A Day!!

Now is PUASA FESTIVAL...
For 1 month...
It will make my life miserable!!!

What the GOODs for Puasa??(For Islam)
1. Finish Work 1 hour earlier.
2. Allow to go back earlier for BUKA PUASA.
3. Buka Puasa early in the morning.(Cooking, eating & Bising)
4. Open stall for selling foods.(Make the way so JAM!!)
5. ...............................(If I keep on mention, I will DIPANCUNG KEPALA by the rules of ISLAM.)

OMG!!!
I was wondered what is the day of today...
The road was so jammed!!!
Then I realized it is PUASA.
Oh my,
Isn't it too over??
Oh please...
Give back to us the usual days...
I DON'T WANT jam anymore!!!!

PS : The foods in Pasar Ramadhan are so NICE!!

God's Fate

Early in the morning, I woke up at 0800.
Actually I have to go to class but i had taken 1/2 day leave.
The PURPOSE is....
I had to GO BACK TO SEREMBAN.
For what???
Just for my SIGNATURE...
Oh my...
JUST A SINGLE SIGNATURE!!!

After that, my family and I went to take passport size picture...
Then we proceed to BRUNCH (Breakfast + Lunch)...
And that was 1100...
I'm so FRUSTRATED because I'm gonna late for my class at 1300.
I rushed all the food into my mouth...
But what is the use when all of them still eat slowly...
After that, I rushed to KTM..
Oh no...
I waited for 1/2 hour...
And waited for the train to depart need another 1/2 hour..
By the time i reached KL already 1345...
I quickly rushed to the LRT station to buy a ticket...
OMG!!!
The queue is SO LONG!!!
Oh, I started to miss my Touch N Go card (LOST!!!)
When I reached hospital,
It is already 1430...
I RUN FOR MY LIFE to the class...
I'm LATE!!

After finish class, I went to my friends' house (Sheek Jun, Huai Man & Lay See)
because we planned to go to pasar malam.
So we reached Pasar Malam at Cempaka around 7 o'clock...
We ate Asam Laksa...
Then we walked...
We walked not even 15 minutes..
The rain is dropping...
When we arrived the car, all of us already half wet...
And I reached home around 930..

When I started to sit in front of my computer...
1 msg received!!!
Started make my life miserable...
I'm totally wrong!!
I shouldn't trust people so easily...
Maybe they thaught I so dumbed and fool...
Haiz...
I always won't learnt from mistake...
From beginning until now...
never learnt...
But just said 1 thing to my dear Sheek Jun :
"I'm so so so SORRY"
I had never meant to do that...
But things had been done and cannot be reversed...(SHANEJASON said)
Once done, Is DONE!!!

WeiRD

As usual I went to hospital early...
Waited there like a dumb...
Watching Harry Potter...
Hearing songs from HandPhone..
Just waiting for people come and open the door...

The class started...
Oh no...
A whole day boring class again...
Keep on chatting with [SHANEJASON]...
Like nobody business...
Playing some kind of NAIVE games...
DREAM some kind of impossible dreams...

At last the class ends....
I reached home...
and usually I will rushed to my bed...
And had a nice EVENING SLEEP...
But today i had sleepless evening...

I chatted with my eldest sister...
She told me now a days...
There are a lot of BUTTERFLY, BEES, FLIES and COACROACH surround her...
She sounded as seem she is irritating but happy...

After that, I asked her to assist me for food...
We went out without umbrella...
So...
You know...

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAIN,
My dad rang me up...
He asked me to take leave for some purpose...
OH MY GOD!!!
I'm just starting to work...
How am I to take leave...
I have to discuss with my NURSE EDUCATOR...
And i don't know what the date i suppose to choose...
Haiz...
PLEASE HELP ME!!!

YumYum SeaFood!!!

17Th August 2009. Monday 1200am
Oh I'm Hungry!!!
So [HUAST]!!!
If B' Shen heard this, she's gonna beat me up...

Actually, I just came back from Kuala Selangor...
umm...no...is WE....
LaySee, [SHANEJASON], Sok Yee, L4 and me went to visit a patient who owns seafood restaurant at Kuala Selangor...
The patient invited us to go...
So we planned it...

There is small place, small road, BIG HOUSE and a lot of paddy field...
We visited the patient, Mr Wong Kim...
As usual, he and his wife still remain the same...CUTE!!!
When you heard them speaking, you actually can't really understand what they are speaking...
Most of the time, I'm just guessing...

Then we proceed to the restaurant....
Wow!!!Is big....
Mr. Wong kim's son ordered a lot of food for us...
WE ARE VERY FULL!!
Other than that, uncle let us to bring back few packed of PRAWN BISCUIT...
We are bad...
EAT FREE, DRINK FREE, TAKE FOR FREE also...
Oh, so EMBARRASSED...

We left at about 930pm...
Along the way, we chatted...
LAUGH along the way...

When i reached home is about 1145...
I think my metabolic rate is very high..
For digest contents...
That's why I shouted :
I'm HUNGRY!!!

Change...

Sorry my friends....

I know i'd been so weird today...
It just too much of things happen on me...
And I can't control myself...
Please forgive me...

We already had induction course for 1 week...
I know i had been behave so playful, not serious and not doing things well...
Even the nurse educators see that....
I know I just had a bad image...

No one to blame...
It is really my fault...
My friends betrayed me...
I'm not performing well...
Playful...
Not serious...

Hushhhh!!!
It's really upset me...
I know I should not drag the problems to my friends...
But just cannot control...

I'll try hard to avoid this anymore...
My friends...
Please be patience to me...
I'll changed!!!
Wait and see huh...

Her Memory....

It is her Birthday!!!
Who??!!
She!!!
Who again??!!
Wee Saw Kim!!!
Oh I see....

Yea, everyone knows her birthday...
Ummm, actually not all...
I mean all is in my class...
We sang a Happy Birthday song for her...

Is that all??
Nope!!!
Her best friend SuWei did something....
She planned something underneath her knowing...

Saw Kim thought her birthday will just go off as usual as last year...
No!!
We gave her a surprise...

Oh poor Saw Kim was fooled by us for 1 time and again and again...
Oh Sorry Saw Kim...This is planned by your best friend SuWei...haha...

We went for dinner at a restaurant and served by a woman that need a bit of manner...
We ate so fullfilness....
Then we proceed to another restaurant....
Hey stop, is a 'tong sui' restaurant...
Thanks Saw Kim for the treat....
We enjoyed it!!!

I hoped that you enjoyed it and remember it always....
Surprise enough??
If not, SuWei will be headache for next year...hehe
And again....
Happy Birthday My Dear Friend!!!

Ouch!!!It's Pain!!

In the morning, i had an influenza vaccine...
As usual, A+E Department is always busy...
As usual, B' Shen and I waited quite some time just to take a vaccine.
When we got the vaccine, the staff nurse asked us to jab for each other...
We had no choice...
So we did it....

We prepared all the equipment...
alcohol swab, gauze, handiplast....
I jab for my friend first...
Ouch, she shouted pain...
I was thinking...
"hmm, isn't it so pain?"
At the time, my friend prick the needle into me....
"Ouchhh!!!!It's really hurt!!!"

The vaccine makes my hand painful for whole day...
I can't tell will it be stop by tomorrow...
But I really really hope that it will stop by tomorrow...
May God Bless Me!!!

Let Go...

I learned how to relief today...
It is so comfortable to be relieved...
I try to put down something that does not belongs to me...
What my friend said is true...
Why we have to cry for people that do not care for us??
They won't see it...
And they won't appreciate it...
Smile and Laughter appear on my face again...

Be Strong

Good to know someone by now...

'Know' does not mean judge the person by its cover...But i know sometimes we do...
You will never know someone fully...
But...please just protect yourselves...
Don't let anyone just take granted from you....
They will never appreciate...

I have a of group friends in class...
They are my college mates, room mates, house mates, work mates...
I am good to someone and I am bad to someone...
They said I'm so imbalance...
Yes!!!
I agreed...
Don't you think so??
Would you sacrified yourself for so so people and you feel uncomfortable with her??
I don't think so...
So, those i really helped them a lot...
Please appreciate...hahaha...
That means i appreciate you to be my friend...hehe

Sometimes i am very emotional...
Today I was a little strange....
But I don't think my friends observed it...(I think some of them might or might not)
It was meant to be...
I try to cheer up...
I guess it works...
So no matter how...
I try to confess myself...
Is non of their business...
Please don't 'show face' to them
They are innocent!!
At last, i put everything into my heart...
And said...
This is not the suitable place to solve problem...
I don't want my friends to feel irritate....
I must not be so selfish...
And I hope I can do that...

Pain in the heart...

Tuesday 11-08-09

I am a very sensitive person.
I can feel every single small change.

My old friends had a plan to gather on 1 day. They invited me...

Whats wrong with it??

At first, I'm really excited to join but when i know the truth...
I feel like really jumped off from the building...
I can't believe that my best friend did that to me...

Grieving....

Even now i can still feel the pain on me....

Just wanna tell...
If don't like, please say so...
And don't speak at the back...
If don't want me to go...
Please say so...
Don't worry...
I won't appear on that night....

Lucky, now i have some good friends...
I know they won't do this to me...
Promise me, don't!!

If not, my heart can't be resuscitate!!!

Hopefully, i still trust in friends....